Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Christmas Holiday

John over at Going Gently left a comment the other day on one of my posts. His words touched my heart and also made me do some serious thinking about Christmas.

As most of you know this year was not a good year. From losing the last of my Boxers to losing my beloved house, almost becoming homeless, having to move, well, just not a good year.

Over these past few months I have been battling I suppose a bit of depression. Only thing is, I didn't realize it until John left a comment. Thankfully this is the only time in my life the word depression has come on to the scene.

Being in a new house ( which is not mine and yes that bothers me), and it being winter, and not having my stall barn to put the horses and donkeys in on cold nights and icky days has played a pretty big part in this whole depression thing. I worry about them being out in the pasture with just some redneck tarp shelters to try to protect them from the elements. My sister Connie told me yesterday that it probably doesn't bother them as much as it does me. And she is right. Thanks Sis.

The picture is of the entry to my beloved lost house during Christmas time last year. I made myself look at all the pictures of my beloved house to help deal with the loss of it.

Now that I realize what has been going on  with my 'blue moods', I can do something about it. And that is to accept what has happened. Nothing is going to change the past. So it is time for me to follow my own advice and "Buck the 'F' up". 

Yes, there have been a lot of positives. Especially with finding this place that allowed all the animals.

I seriously need to reconnect with my wacky sense of humor. Somewhere along the way it got lost.

Thank you John. Thank you.

Until next time.................

ps--I still believe that the Christmas holiday is too commercialized!



  1. well..glad you are tackling that depression with the same determination you tackle everything. You just do it!! I think you are exceptionally insightful to realize it for yourself and I think you have done wonderfully in all your changes. I can totally understand your situation and gotta hand it to you for conquering it so well...cuzz you ARE conquering them. If you look back on all the postings you have done lately, you have to realize ALL that you have done!! You are amazing and I send you all kinds of go-get-em vibes I can muster.
    I too have been a little overwhelmed going into winter this year as last winter about made me cry UNCLE!! So far this year is alot better and I will be prepared(I HOPE) for the depression that may set in around January. Sometimes its just hard to see the silver lining, but boy oh boy ...when I do see it?,,It's all good!!

  2. Sorry I've not visited as much as I like, work seems to have taken hold these past few weeks.
    I truly admire your can-do spirit, lead, follow, or get out of my way....
    You have been forced to undergo a move you would have rather not taken, it's always hard, but with large animals to settle back in, even more so.
    I met a lady at work today, she brought in seven feral cats to be fixed, and even though they were not hers, just living in her barn, she was worried about their welfare, especially in the cold weather.
    It reminded me of your situation, and how dedicated an animal lover you are, going to extreme lengths in putting their needs, before your own.
    I commend you for your efforts, spring is just around the corner, there will be new grass to graze upon, and sunshine on their backs, just over the horizon !
    A very Merry Christmas to you and all of your gang, I've so enjoyed visiting back and forth this past year, and look forward to the next !

  3. No, it hasn't been a good year for you, I agree with you. Stuff happens, and sometimes piles of stuff happens. When you get down so far, you realize the only direction you can go is up. Glad you didn't let it whip you! You now have a lovely place to live, you have the animals - you are so on your way up UP!

    I also agree with you - Christmas is way too commercialized and I will be very happy when it is O V E R !


  4. Welcome you sis. Glad the blue days are heading away from you. Phone call please when you need me! And even if you don't need me ;)

  5. Ah, depression--it's a bear. Been there, done that, probably will be back again. But you have plenty of reason to feel down, and long, dark nights don't help at all!! I hope you can reconnect with some loved ones over the holidays; they can make you sad, too.

    Still, I am very happy that you have found a place to land, somewhere that you can keep the animals safe while you figure out what's next.

    Good luck beating back the blues. Go hug a donkey or two for me. :)

  6. Hugs. Lots of love from Morning Bray Farm.

  7. Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is the present, that's why it's a gift!
    I hate feeling blue, and have had to find the strength to fight it continually, but this little poem helps me thru...hope it does the same for you.

  8. You've had a hard year, and the depression is understandable. What is admirable is the way you are picking yourself up by the bootstraps and moving forward. You're a remarkable woman, who has faced down a lot of miserable stuff lately. Good for you for handling all you have had to handle, so well.

  9. Best of luck to you. Sending positive thoughts from New Zealand.

  10. I agree with everyone else, you've accomplished a lot. Don't overlook that.

    I have the type of depression that zaps my energy. Not sad, not mad, not manic, just sleepy. In the winter, it increses in intensity. I just want to hibernate.

    Do you have a primary-care doctor? Or go to your County Health Dept and talk to the doctor, you may need a little help. I take LexaPro.

  11. In 2007 I went out on disability, then was fired for not turning in medical papers on time. Haven't worked since - and because I am single and not yet 62 years old - neither SSI or Social Security is available to me. Don't even get me started on SSD! Unemployment ran out a LONG time ago. In 2008 one of my dogs and my cat died - both before their time. In 2009 my other dog died - one month before I sold my house because that was the only way to get back up on my feet. That's when I shut down - basically curled up in a ball and disappeared for a while.

    I have been living in a nice apartment for about a year and a half now. Don't have any pets because, since I don't have a job, I don't have the $$ to take care of them. But that's OK. I'm alive, still hopeful I'll get a job eventually, and I have wonderful friends who love me.

    I wrote all of this to say that it's normal to feel overwhelmed and depressed sometimes. Life isn't always fair. But you come out the other side and life goes on. Happiness and laughter return to your life.

    Thank you for allowing me to share in your love of your animals. I read your blog (and others) to get my "critter fix." Give your animals a hug and a scritch from me :) Merry Christmas!!

  12. Isn't John a lovely man? I think he's helped many people in this world with his kind ways and wise words.

  13. Cindy, you are a brave, strong woman who has overcome an incredibly crappy year. Remember, a home is what you make of it. And from what I can see, you are making a wonderful home in your new environment...for both you and your pets!

    Bless you for having such a big, kind heart. Take some time to be good to yourself. You deserve it.

  14. Sorry you're feeling blue. I've been following you're blog for about 6 months or so and have been praying for you and you group of animals. I think you are an amazing woman, I read of your experiences and think I don't know if I could have done all that alone. You really are an inspiration to me. {{Hug}} Ann inWI

  15. Hi there! I am new to the blogging world and have been surfing and reading blogs of like minded people. I gotta hand it to you, with all you have been through this year I can feel that you still have an amazing strength. I am like you and my critters that stay outside I am constantly worried about them. Thank goodness you found a place that allows your animals. Your former home I am sure was amazing. You know when we have been in horrible economic times before, it seemed like it was at a distance, I didn't know anyone first hand that it effected. But times now are downright scary. On my block there are two homes that have been forclosed on. My neighbor next door had lived in her home for 22yrs. I was devestated for her, I can't imagine how she felt inside. Myself I had to retire on a medical retirement, 7yrs early. I am thankful that I had a retirement and was not just fired. But the fight with SSDI !!!! well it just isn't right, I have paid in all my life. Anyway, sorry to get carried away. Dear I will hold you up in my prayers, and ask for many blessings for you. Your posting with your amazing sense of humor was uplifting to me, what a wonderful gift you have!I wish you all the best, thanks for sharing, Marla


Thank you for visiting. Hope to see you again soon.