A few days ago my middle daughter calls me all upset. Her boyfriend and her are arguing and she wants to come home. Really? This is the third time they have broken up. And this would be the third time she asked to come back home. Yes, she moved back home twice before only to go back to him. All in all he isn't a bad guy. Just needs to grow up and grow a set!
As a parent you want to protect your kids. But on the other hand, they do have to learn what life is all about. And it can be a pain in the butt! No one said life is all fun and full of happy, happy every waking moment.
After pondering a bit, I resigned and said yes. But this is the last time. And there are rules to be followed without question. She agrees. So home she comes. Ugh! My middle daughter is quite the drama queen. Over the top drama! And honestly, I don't have the strength or patience to deal with it. My philosophy has always been to 'Buck the 'F' up' no matter what is dealt you in life. So I 'Bucked the "F' up'.
I lay down the rules. She agrees to them, only to have forgotten them within minutes! No problem, that is what pen and paper are for! Can't forget them when they are in your face.
My youngest still lives at home while she is attending college. And she is not very happy with her sister moving back in. Like me, she does not like all the drama the middle daughter is about. Oh man, more tension. Just what I need! As if there isn't enough to deal with on a daily basis!
Oldest daughter and youngest daughter are very goal orientated, independent, strong, good head on their shoulders girls. Well, adults. Middle daughter likes living her life one day at a time with no goals, easiest path available with use of as little energy as can possibly be used, and well, other attributes that I do not know where she learned them from nor do I agree with.
There are times like these that finding a good hiding place is a great idea! With any luck, middle daughter will either get her act together and grow up ( she is 27), or she will have to live in her own drama world, but somewhere else!
I am too darned old, paid my dues, raised my kids, busted my behind, and yes, I am being a tad selfish. This is my time now!
Thanks for listening to my rant and rave. It is much appreciated.
Until next time....................
I so hear you Cindy, and I so agree with you. And it is so hard to do right by them at times, we don't want them to hurt yet don't want them to just take the easy way out, like you said, what will they learn from it? And yes there comes a time where our live should become our own life again, I mean we never stop being parents, but that does't mean we give up our life for them....I am at that point already and my kids are not quite as old as yours yet.
ReplyDeleteI love the picture of your cat hiding that is too funny.
No kids here, so no wise words from me. Just a little heartfelt sympathy and the wish that everything irons itself out, quickly and easily.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. My son is twenty, just graduated as a mechanic, and he's going to find that Moms' B&B is increasingly more self-serve and costly. I'll call it the beginning of a gentle nudge.
ReplyDeleteI love your 'no nonsense' attitude! You remind me of my best friend's mother ( I spent a lot of time at their house when I was a kid) who was the polar opposite of my Mom. Friend's Mom laid everything on the line.....you always knew what she expected and what she didn't want. It was great to me as a kid.
ReplyDeleteNot having any kids, I really con't offer any advice about your mid-kid....but I will. If she messes up this time.....show her the door. She's a big girl.....she has to learn about life sometime.
Totally agree with your point of view. My youngest(11) is the one who tries my patience frequently. I asked her if she had fed the dogs and she said she had forgot(it's not like we don't do it everyday) So when she got up the next morning and wanted her breakfast ,I told her I forgot.She gave me the strangest look.She got off the bus that evening and wanted to know what was for dinner, I said, "I forgot". She was blown away. I told her now I know why she "forgets" everything, makes it easier just having to take care of yourself. Well she must have got the hint after eating a bologna sandwich for supper, when there is usually a full course meal everyday. Animals feed bowls are staying full and she moves a litter quicker when I ask. Not a mean mom,even though my children may think so from time to time. But when the going gets tough, they run back to mom, the one they know they can count on.
ReplyDeleteNo human children here either... just gotta tell you I love the pictures you chose for this post. :)
ReplyDeleteBe selfish...you desire it...27 yrs old...time to grow the heck up...even dogs know this(seriously) ;-)
ReplyDeleteYes totally agree with everything you said. I know my kids are at an age were I think it would be great if they thought about leaving home. Unfortunatly at 19 and 20 they do not earn enough. But my daughter is like your two girls very goal orientated and a saver, just like mum. But mu son is a live for today and let tomorrow worry about itself kind of guy, and it bums his parents out.
ReplyDeleteWhat can we do. we cannot put an old head on young shoulders.
rave any time, it makes me feel normal LOL
Oh, I can relate! I laughed at the pics you used for each example. :-) Love my boys (now, really big boys) more than anything in this world, but I really miss the days when they were small and I could (seemingly) fix all their troubles. If it's any consolation to you, I think you're an awesome mom, Cindy, and handling things just as they should be handled.
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Hey AJ...I have my own blog now...the guys gave me the idea so....
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